Friday – January 22
I brought her in at 9.
In the car, I held her and whispered with her. I told her the big bulge in her body would be gone soon and told her I would be back for her at the end of the day.
He allowed me to set up her holding cage with her heating blanket and her sleeping cubby.
I thought this would make her feel more comfortable, but to my surprise she responded with, “Why are you leaving me with my things here? Are you leaving me here for good? “
She has come so far that I had forgotton about her true fear in life, abandonment. It never crossed my mind, but I couldn’t redo it now.
I signed the papers for the $1300 surgery, which included her blood panel from last week.
I returned at 4 pm. and Dr. Boyer told me the surgery went very well.
He removed about 2-3 cups of eggs from her, honestly, I don’t know how they fit in her tiny body.
Saturday – Jan 23
Dr. Boyer allowed me to bring her last night, only because he knows me.
Recovery from anesthesia is different for each animal. Their subconscious becomes evident. They really don’t know why they act like they do, it is just their true nature that becomes apparent.
For Babe, he would take a couple quick steps forward, but I didn’t expect what Angel was about to do ALL NIGHT LONG. Alligator rolls clockwise, then counterclockwise, I held her near me in bed all night. Needless to say I got very little sleep. There is a reason that they keep your pets overnight. I understand that more now, but still I was happier to have her near me during the ordeal.
Poor girl, her entire subconscious mind was filled the fear of run or be eaten. It brought back the way she was when I first adopted her. Could it be because the last thought in her mind was is I had abandoned her, I don’t know, all these feelings come thru when anesthesia is applied
This went on all night, I tried to comfort her, but even this was greeted by hatred of my touch. She didn’t want to be near me, but I had to control her by wrapping her in the blanket near me. The anesthesia slowly wore off and by morning it was nearly over.
But she was angry at me. All the trust I had build up disintegrated, she was now the lizard I had a year ago, fighting my every more, fearful of my hands, great!
She said ”How could you do this to me?” “The only human I trusted and you betrayed me” I would put my head on her pillow and she would turn around and face the other way. I felt so bad.
I fed her good food and she ate. Slowly she began to forgive me, or maybe forget the subconscious thoughts that had surfaced.
I picked her up and she continued to alligator roll. I thought perhaps pain had something to do with it and I began to place her on a pillow to carry her. She seemed appreciative of this.
January 24 – Sunday
Today is Sunday, the 2nd day and some things seem better. In the morning, I gave her clavamox as an antibiotic. I placed her in the shower at 9:30 to potty and she stumbled a bit, not sure if it was the tight wrapping that protects her wound, but all that alligator rolling must have put a strain on all the surgery and stitching within her, thank God Dr. Boyer had wrapped her so tight, if I would have seen her violent outbursts he would have been worried.
I administer the pain meds and she is resting fine now.
She seems to be forgiving me. She had an eye shed and I helped her with it this morning. It solidified that I am gentle, helpful and caring. I think we are going to be alright, but this experience made me realize how far I have come. The prospect of having the same girl that I did a year ago was pretty scary.
The day moves forward, she is coming around but I have to ask:
Was it a mistake to spay her? I know it is only a couple days but I worry all the work I did was put down the drain with her spay. Maybe it was a mistake, will she ever have the seasons of the iguana again? Have I lost her? Will she return to me?
Just drained with worry. Today she still alligator rolled a few times when I picked her up. Thinking it could be pain, I was more careful,, carrying her on a pillow, which kinda worked, she seemed more calm when I pressed her near me.
When the pain meds kicked in she began to rub her nose on the window, like she did in her first days with me.
I allowed her to sun in her cage outside, but she was only continent for an hour and then I let her out to walk but she didn’t go into the house, she aimed for the yard, not what we have been working for. She seems to want to leave. She I angry and doesn’t understand why I did what I did yet. I hope time will heal her.
Let’s pray and see what tomorrow brings. It may be a time to Whisper again.
January 25 – Monday
What a difference a day makes! All is good now! She is coming back to me now and she is quite the explorer now. She must feel so good without the weight of the eggs and the main meds that I can’t keep her down. In the afternoon it is all about the tree outside her window. She so wants to climb it, yes, climb it already! She is anxious and wants to get out and move and explore…!
Of course the tree is off limits but she has it on her to-do list.
Her attitude towards me has improved and I was actually able to hold her and pet her today . . . YEA! We went to the dr. office and picked up the photos they took of her spay, they are amazing and I am going to share them with the world. Laura was the photographer.
Anyway, it looks like the experience is behind us now and her memory is fading of the procedure. She is looking forward to feeling better and I am looking forward to having my girl back, and never having to go thru the egg laying ordeal again! Once again, YEA!